I Will Be Here
by Ys
Summary: Severus has lost his will to live and Hermione steps in. My answer to the WIKTT Challenges: Bedside Table and Angstier Than Thou. SSHG
1. I Believe In You

**Disclaimer**: never did and never will own it. J.K. Rowling does.   
**Spoilers**: Goblet of Fire 

* * *

**~ I Believe In You ~**

* * *

Harry had disappeared. Hermione and Ron were frantic with worry. Dumbledore himself had lost the twinkle in his eyes, for Harry was not the only one to have disappeared. Severus Snape wasn't at Hogwarts either and his absence seemed rather suspicious. Dumbledore had muttered something about a Death Eaters' meeting when Hermione and Ron had pressed him with questions, but he didn't seem to know more. 

"The greasy git probably betrayed Harry to You-Know-Who!" Ron fumed in the comfort of the Gryffindor common room. 

Somehow Hermione didn't agree. She didn't like Snape but she didn't think he would have betrayed both Dumbledore and Harry. After all, he had protected them since their first year. Shaking her head, she left the common room and headed to the infirmary. 

Madam Pomfrey was rather surprised to see her. 

"What is it, Miss Granger? Headache?" 

"No, I'm just trying to find something to do." 

Before Madam Pomfrey could answer, two people stumbled in the infirmary. Hermione's heart stopped when recognising them. Harry and Snape. Her friend seemed unarmed, whereas Snape… 

"Severus!" exclaimed Madam Pomfrey as he collapsed on the floor. 

A levitation spell later and he was on a bed. Harry tried to escape but a stern look from Madam Pomfrey made him change his mind. 

"Young man, you don't leave this place before I have a look at you." 

The examination went quickly. Harry was unhurt; not even a trace of the Cruciatus Curse. As Madam Pomfrey congratulated him for having been cautious this time, Harry fidgeted and muttered something about Snape. Hermione glanced toward the Potions Master; his eyes were closed. She came next to him and called Madam Pomfrey with a strangled voice. The mediwitch had a look at him and frowned when seeing he had fallen in a coma. 

"Mr. Potter, what happened?" 

"Voldemort. Professor Snape was revealed as a spy when he protected me," he said uncomfortably. 

Madam Pomfrey pursed her lips. 

"I can see he protected you quite effectively indeed. Off with you." 

~*~

Ron was overjoyed to see Harry back. When he heard that Snape was in a coma, he just shrugged. 

"Good for him. I hope he never comes out of it." 

"Ron!" protested Hermione. "How can you say such a thing? He protected Harry with his life!" 

"She's right, Ron. He took all the curses meant for me." 

Ron muttered something under his breath and Harry grinned. 

"So, where are we in Quidditch? How did we do against Ravenclaw?" 

Hermione's jaw dropped open. He just came back from facing Voldemort and he was worried about _Quidditch_? 

~*~

Two days after, she sneaked in the infirmary. It was quiet and empty, except for the still form on a bed. She was shocked to discover that nobody was by his side. She remembered that each time Harry had ended up in the infirmary, he had been surrounded by gifts and cards. Even she had received some of them in second year. But there was nothing of the sort by Snape's bed, not even a single one. 

She started when a hand touched her shoulder. 

"What are you doing here, Miss Granger?" 

"I came to see Professor Snape. What did the Headmaster say?" 

Madam Pomfrey remained silent a moment then replied: 

"Albus didn't say anything. He didn't come." 

Hermione sat down hard, stunned by the revelation. 

"Why? Doesn't he care? Professor Snape saved Harry's life and weakened Voldemort!" 

Madam Pomfrey pursed her lips. 

"It seems the suspicion is that Severus lured Mr. Potter to Voldemort--" 

"No! Harry told me everything, it didn't happen like this!" 

"Miss Granger, they think Mr. Potter is grateful for his life and thus is protecting Severus. For the moment, Severus is nothing more than a traitor." 

"Will he… will he awaken?" Hermione whispered. 

"Why would he, Miss Granger? Is there any reason for him to come back? Who wants him back anyway? It's so much easier for everybody, that the former Death Eater and insufferable Potions Master doesn't come back." 

"You care." 

"Probably because I'm a Hufflepuff fool, Miss Granger," she retorted wryly before leaving. 

Hermione looked at Snape on his bed and clenched her jaw seeing him so still when he was usually full of controlled energy. 

"I'm _not_ giving up on you," she muttered darkly. 

She went back to her room and picked up her potions books. Back to Snape's bedside, she began to read, hoping that something so familiar would lure him out of his coma, even though she had doubts about him reacting to _her_ voice. 

~*~

Hermione sighed in defeat. There were still no improvements on Snape's condition. She was beyond Madam Pomfrey's quizzical looks each time she entered the infirmary, beyond Ron's sniggering comments on Snape, beyond Harry's discomfort each time Snape's name was pronounced. Her whole attention was concentrated on her Potions Master, on the tiny reaction that would mean he had heard her. But there was nothing. 

She had changed her reading book by now and she was poring over a book about comas and entering minds. Sometimes she would read aloud a passage that made her particularly thoughtful or an anecdote that she found amusing. During the week passed by his side, she had begun to call him Severus, hoping he would react better to his given name than to the title. But it didn't change anything. 

His hand was clenched around his wand and he had pointed it to himself. His parched lips were trying to murmur the two words of the Unforgivable. She watched him in frozen horror, unable to move. He had a look at her, as if to tell her that it was useless for her to save him since nobody cared, and managed to utter the words. The ray of green light shot out of his wand, straight to him, and curled lazily around his body. She screamed. 

And woke up in a start. He was on the bed, his wand on the bedside table. He was alive. But she knew that he was dying inside, that he had lost the will to live. She looked down at the book she was reading earlier and took a deep breath. She gently pushed him to a side of the bed, caressing his left hand resting on the sheet. She lay down beside him, took her wand and murmured a spell above her head, then his. She sank into blackness. 

~*~

She was somewhere in a dark place. She whispered the word for lighting the tip of her wand, but the darkness was such that it seemed to absorb it. Sighing, she started her way blindly. She knew she wasn't alone, she could feel presences by her, but she couldn't decide if they were friendly or not. The little she knew of Severus's life gave her no inclination on the friendly side. Sometimes a white face would appeared in front of her, peering at her curiously before vanishing as abruptly as it had appeared. Frightened, she wondered if she would recognise one of the faces. 

There was a bit of light further and she hurried in this direction, passing among silhouettes that were more and more numerous. Brushing against them was like walking into a ghost and it made her skin crawl and as she came nearer to the light, she had to fray her way among them. She sighed with relief when she finally reached the light and then gasped in horror. 

Voldemort was in front of her, looking exactly the way Harry had described him. He was flanked by his Death Eaters, harassing her friends. Dumbledore had already fallen. Harry and Ron were fighting side by side, but it wasn't long before Ron fell under Avada Kedavra and Harry writhed on the ground as Voldemort used the Cruciatus Curse on him. In a corner, chained to a wall, helpless, was Severus, pulling on his chains like a madman. She saw herself, at his feet, her wand only inches from him, her hair spread on the stones. She looked around and recognised many people, even Sirius and Remus, both dead, Minerva McGonagall, the Weasley family and… Draco as a Death Eater. 

She screamed when the green light of the Avada Kedavra Curse flashed toward her and ducked, but the light passed through her without hurting. Despite her fright, she managed to understand the reason: it was only a nightmare, Severus's worse nightmare. She didn't know why he had this fierce urge to protect them or if it was only to redeem himself, but that he was tormented by this vision over and over was just a proof that he would never betray anyone - not even Harry - to Voldemort. 

Still trembling - even though she knew it was only a vision, it was a disturbing vision - she crossed the battlefield and reached the door on the other side. The new room was calm compared to the one she had just left. The whole room was entirely white, hurting her eyes after the dull grey of the stones. There was a grave in a corner, with 'Tom Riddle' written on it. Severus was sitting next to it, his head in his hands, while, in the distance, she could hear laughter and sounds of music. She went to Severus and put a comforting hand on his shoulder. Or rather, _tried_ to put a hand on his shoulder, since her fingers passed through him. It was just another vision: his loneliness once the war was over. Strangely, it hurt more than his nightmare. The Severus of the vision didn't even seem bitter about it, just… resigned to his fate. 

Sadly, she turned her back to him and resumed her way. When she passed the door, she blinked and almost screamed in fury. She was back at the infirmary and he was still here, on his bed. Sighing, she took her seat by his side and received a shock when she noticed his eyes were opened. She had succeeded! He had awakened! 

~*~

"Miss Granger," he said, his voice slightly slurred. "Of course, it could only have been Gryffindor insufferable Know-It-All who could have managed to reach this place." 

Her shoulders slumped. She hadn't succeeded at all. She was still trapped in his mind but, at least, she had found him. This was slightly comforting. 

"Professor, you have to come back," she pleaded. 

He turned his dark eyes toward her and whatever fire had been in them before had died. 

"What for? I did what I had to do and my task is completed. They don't need me." 

"Yes, they do!" 

"Don't you understand, Miss Granger? Voldemort knows I'm a traitor; I'm _useless_ to them now." 

"Madam Pomfrey cares!" 

"Poppy is a Hufflepuff fool." 

"_I_ care," she said miserably. 

"Miss Granger, if you're worried about your NEWTs, frankly, you're beside the point. Albus will find someone else to teach potions and everybody will appreciate the new arrangements." 

"I don't care for the NEWTs," she replied with a small voice. 

He looked up at her in disbelief. Hearing Hermione Granger, Gryffindor Know-It-All and studious student, declare that she didn't care for the NEWTs was as unbelievable as hearing the Dark Lord ask him if he preferred his tea with or without sugar. After reflection, it was more probable for Voldemort to ask the question than for Hermione to make such a statement. 

"That's it, I'm turning crazy," he muttered. 

"Severus, come back with me," she pleaded softly. 

"Miss Granger, when did you receive the permission to call your teachers by their name?" he asked sharply. 

She shook her head, tears slowly filling her eyes. 

"Please…" 

"Miss Granger… Hermione…" he began, horribly embarrassed. "Listen, I'm tired. I almost gave my life for Potter's, yet they still believe me a traitor. _You_ want me to come back and you don't even like me." 

"I believe in you," she whispered, her eyes intent on him. "Come back with me." 

"Why?" 

She took a deep breath. 

"I need you." 

"You need the darkness of a former Death Eater? Miss Granger, Gryffindors are notorious for being horrible liars." 

"I couldn't lie to save the life of me," she acknowledged. "But I'm not lying now. I look up to you. You're the thorn in their side, the one they want to cast back in the shadows. Don't let them win this. Don't let them believe that they've defeated you." 

He sat on his bed and gently cradled her cheek in his hand. 

"Hermione, I was defeated a long time ago, when Voldemort branded his mark in the flesh of my arm. Since then, I have only been a walking dead, trying to amend. Oblivion is the only thing I deserve." 

"But they don't deserve it!" she replied fiercely. "So your speech at the beginning of first year was just a lie! You said you could teach us to stopper death, but you're not even able to fight for your own life!" 

"Yes, exactly," he agreed. "Now what? You're going to threaten me to stay here if I don't come?" 

"And why not? For what they care for me! Like you, I'm just _useful_ to them." 

"Is there a way for you to go back?" 

"Don't know, don't care," she muttered, sulking. 

"Miss Know-It-All acknowledges there is something she doesn't know? That's a first." 

"I thought you would know." 

"It implies I would agree to come back." 

She shrugged dejectedly. Despite himself, Severus was smiling. 

"This is blackmail. How typically Slytherin." 

He held out his hand to her and felt a bubble burst in his chest when she didn't hesitate to close her fingers on his. 

~*~

In the infirmary, Madam Pomfrey came to check on Severus and Hermione as she had done since the moment she had discovered them lying side by side on Severus's bed. Something had changed. Their eyes were still closed and their return seemed as hopeless as it had seemed before, yet… Then she took a sharp intake of breath. Their hands were joined. She was about to contact Dumbledore to tell him, but someone called her and she had to go. She looked back once, at their joined hands, and hoped. 

~*~

They opened the eyes and turned the head to look at each other. Severus's smile was twisted and bitter, but at least, he wasn't scowling. She discovered she liked his smile and, better yet, the laugh he had been repressing when he had compared her to a Slytherin. 

They stood up and an awkward silence followed. 

"Well, Miss Granger, I will see you in class," he finally said. 

"Yes, Professor," she replied obediently. 

He walked to the door and had almost closed the door behind him when she called him back. 

"Severus… If you want, at the end, I will be here." 

There was no promise, but it was all he needed to know to go on. 

* * *

Story for the WIKTT Challenge: Bedside Table

**Rules**: When Harry is in the infirmary, his bedside table is littered with sweet and get well cards.  
Well, Voldemort is finally defeated.  
Harry was not harmed but Snape is in the infirmary, either because he actively fought Voldemort or doing his duty as a spy... or protecting Harry.  
Snape is seriously injured and has fallen into a coma.  
But Snape's bedside table is empty. Not a single get well card, no sweets, nothing.  
Hermione notices that and realizes that nobody really cares.  
Ron mumbles his usual curses. Example: "I hope he hurts a lot...." and Harry is more interested in Quidditch or other things  
Even Dumbledore does not really seem interested in telling Snape how much he appreciates his actions. The headmaster has more trivial matters in his head. Like a party because they got rid of Voldemort or something similar.  
Snape is not waking up.  
Hermione hears Poppy say something like "Why should he come back, there is nobody here that actually wants him back anyway. He has no reason to." Poppy is the only one showing sympathy.  
Hermione starts questioning herself and her surroundings.  
She realizes the utter lack of any concern for Snape in a lot of other people that usually hover about Harry when the boy is injured.  
She starts sitting at his bed, trying to coax him out of his coma. Until she falls asleep.  
In her dream or in their joined consciousness (joined with Snape), she meets the true Severus... either what is left of him or what he is behind all that bitterness or something else... 

Voldemort is not defeated yet in this story (I need him for the next one!) but I think I have pretty much the rest... 


	2. Saving Grace

**Disclaimer**: never did and never will own it. J.K. Rowling does.   
**Spoilers**: Goblet of Fire 

* * *

**~ Saving Grace ~**

* * *

The infirmary was still. Everything seemed to be asleep except for the dark silhouette creeping silently to the only occupied bed. Severus Snape crouched by the bed and looked at the young woman lying in it, her eyes closed in her white face. 

"Hermione…" he whispered softly, reaching for her hand. "I wish I could see your smile one last time… I can't lose you, yet I fear I already have…" 

He caressed her hand gently, almost hoping that she would awaken. He knew what she had suffered in the last battle, succumbing under Peter Pettigrew's Cruciatus before Sirius Black got to him. It was the first time ever Severus had been grateful to Sirius. 

"Oh Hermione!" he murmured brokenly. "I can't let you go! I swore to myself that I would go out of your life as soon as I was sure that you were not mad from the curse, but this morning… this morning, you had your first coherent thought and the only word you uttered was my name! Not Potter's, not Weasley's, mine." 

He stopped a moment to brush her hair away from her brow, his fingers lingering. 

"It means so much to me…" 

He closed his eyes briefly. 

"One more week," he promised softly. "One more week to make sure you alright and then I will disappear. I don't want to hold you to this almost promise you made to me… Goodbye for now, my Hermione." 

He slipped away from the room and did not notice when her eyes opened, staring blindly at the ceiling. 

~*~

She was allowed to leave the infirmary two days later. Her steps were slow, the pain apparent though she tried to hide it. But she could hide nothing from the dark eyes following every move of hers. She smiled sometimes and he could see that her friends were attentive around her. When he heard her laugh, he knew it was time. 

He had already written the letter, choosing carefully his words, though he knew she would read through them. He would never commit the mistake of underestimating her, not after the cunning Slytherin display she had shown him while they had been in his mind. 

She wouldn't receive the letter before the deed was done. It was better this way; if not, she would try to save him again. He had a small smile. She _was_ a Gryffindor, after all. Even if it meant saving someone she disliked. But then, he remembered her words in the infirmary: 

_"Severus… If you want, at the end, I will be here."_

It hadn't sounded as if she disliked him, but rather as if… she cared. 

He shook his head, scowling at himself. He was being irrational. It was just a typical Gryffindor attitude, nothing less, nothing more. He closed his eyes, exhaling slowly. She was the only light in his darkness now. Voldemort was gone, defeated, and he had no purpose anymore. Just like that time when he had saved Harry. Or so he had thought. She had told him he was the thorn in their side, such a thorn that they had been forced to acknowledge his role in the war once it was over. He didn't want to be a thorn in anybody's side anymore; he had been that for too long already. 

Before he could change his mind again, he stood up and went to the owlery. He wrapped the letter to Hermione around an owl's leg and let it go before leaving himself for his last destination. 

~*~

Hermione was in the library and she seethed with rage when she noticed she had forgotten her notebook in her room. It should have been in her bag, but Ron probably had needed it earlier and, as usual, he had forgotten to put back where it belonged. She left the library in a hurry, running to her room. The notebook was on the floor and she bent down to pick it up when a noise on the window startled her. She looked up to see one of the school owls. 

"Hello, little one," she murmured gently, opening the window. "Got something for me?" 

She absently gave the owl a treat while grabbing the letter. She recognised the handwriting immediately. After all, she had seen it enough on her essays. Frowning in puzzlement, she quickly read the letter and didn't even notice when her notebook fell from her fingers. 

"Of all the stupid things to do!" she fumed. 

She threw the letter on her bed and left her room, her notebook and her work in the library forgotten. 

For once in her life, Hermione was sorry she wasn't very good with a broom. She was running in the stairs, breathless, stumbling on the steps, but her determination kept her going on. She saw him just as she burst in and it was almost too late. He had already jumped. 

She didn't lose any time and, pulling her wand out of her sleeve, she yelled: 

"_Wingardium Leviosa_!" 

For a moment, she thought she had lost him. He was still falling. Then he stopped and she felt a sharp pull at her magic. He was much heavier than a feather. Gritting her teeth, she forced her wand up, up, till he floated back to the top of the tower. She was exhausted when she finally let him touch the ground, but she couldn't let go now. 

"What did you do?" he shouted at her. 

She came stumbling to him and grabbed a fistful of his robes. 

"Shut up," she said clearly, though between clenched teeth. "How dare you yell at me after the fright you just gave me?" 

"Miss Granger, I–" 

He couldn't add another word as she pulled him toward her and kissed him fiercely. He wondered for a brief moment if he was awake or not and decided that if he wasn't, then he could at least enjoy the dream. Even if he was awake, thinking of it. He wrapped his arms around Hermione and dared to dream. 

~*~

"Severus! What are you doing?" 

Severus sighed. It was Dumbledore and, if one could trust the tone of his voice, he was angry. 

"Until you came, I was having the time of my life," replied Severus, regretfully stepping away from Hermione. 

"Did you think about it?" 

"Not at the moment, but many times before, yes." 

"Did you really need to involve Miss Granger?" 

"It would have been difficult without involving her," said Severus, grinning at Hermione who smiled shyly in return. 

"You could have told me!" 

"I didn't really have the time." 

Dumbledore shook a parchment in the air. 

"You had the time to write this letter to Miss Granger, but not the time to tell me?" 

Severus blinked. 

"Oh, that's what you're talking about." 

"What did you think I was talking about?" 

"What I was doing with Miss Granger at the moment you interrupted." 

"Oh, well, I should praise her presence of mind to provide you with such a timely distraction." 

Hermione's furious reaction surprised Severus. 

"There is _no_ timely distraction! Because you don't care for him doesn't mean I don't either!" 

She wrapped tightly her arms around Severus and rubbed her cheek against his chest. _Could a dream get any better_, wondered Severus, returning her embrace. 

"Why do you think I'm here if I don't care?" 

"I don't know," she replied stubbornly. "Why weren't you here when he was in a coma?" 

To Severus's surprise, Albus shifted uncomfortably. The Potions Master never thought he would have lived to see the day when Albus Dumbledore would be ill at ease in front of a student bold enough to accuse him. And not any student! Hermione Granger, who would never have broken any rule if she could have helped it – except if Potter and Weasley were around, naturally. 

"Albus," he said tiredly, "I'm sorry for worrying you. For all it's worth, you can burn this letter. It doesn't mean anything now," he added, resting his cheek on Hermione's head. 

"She's a student, Severus." 

"Yes, I know. Does it really matter?" 

Deep lines of worry appeared on Albus's forehead. 

"Severus… I know I failed you at least once, probably more than that. I don't want it to happen again. If you need Miss Granger and if she's willing," he added with his old twinkle back in his eyes, for he could see Hermione's arms still wrapped around Severus, "then by all means, go ahead with my blessings." 

"Thank you, Albus. Now, if you don't mind…" 

He gave a pointed glance toward Hermione and Albus chuckled. 

"I have a bonfire to do with this letter. Oh, and the stars are lovely tonight, if you look up instead of down." 

~*~

They listened in silence to his retreating steps. 

"He's right," Severus said thoughtfully. "The stars are lovely tonight and where better to watch them than the Astronomy Tower?" 

"As long as you don't try to jump from it again," replied Hermione, her voice muffled against his chest. 

"I promise. Oh Gods, Hermione… I don't know what I would do without you!" 

She looked up at him and smiled wryly. 

"Well, obviously, you wouldn't last long." 

Then she punched him in the arm. 

"What on earth were you thinking? If… if I hadn't gone to my room earlier…" 

She shuddered when thinking of what would have happened. 

"I'm sorry," he murmured. "I… I didn't want to hold you to what you had said to me… I thought it was just pity, that you were trying to be nice to me…" 

His voice trailed off. 

"I wouldn't have said it if I hadn't meant every word of it!" she said indignantly. "When I saw you in your mind, so lonely and so resigned about it, it nearly broke my heart… I despised myself for not having seen it earlier, for letting you down despite everything you did for us." 

"What? Taking points off you and giving you detentions?" he said, cocking his eyebrow at her. 

She laughed shakily. 

"No. Protecting us, even at the risk of your own life. Teaching us so many things. I so much wanted you to be proud of me." 

"I am," he assured her. "Hermione, look at the stars." 

She tipped her head back and he leaned toward her, murmuring against her lips: 

"You are my saving grace." 

* * *

Story for the WIKTT Challenge: Angstier Than Thou

**Rules**: Severus Snape is fed up.  
Hated and feared by students, alone in a sea of friendly Hogwarts teachers, the Dark Lord's toy, suffering from constant after-effects of Cruciatus, he decides to put an end to his misery.  
In other words, to kill himself.  
(But of course I could never really kill Severus, and that's why Hermione steps in...)  
Hermione, yes. Can she stop her Potions Master from committing suicide? And what happens afterwards?  
These are the rules:  
* It's up to you if Snape wants to throw himself from the top of the Astronomy tower, put a Muggle gun in his mouth or cast Avada Kedavra, or whatever you may come up with.  
* He does not succeed, of course, because that would be too depressing.  
* Must include some kind of SS/HG action, whether it be friendship or love.  
* Must include a scene with Dumbledore in close-to hysterics with worry and sadness because he almost lost his Potions Teacher (and spy, cough, cough). If you want suicide notes or something like that, it's up to you. 

Albus is probably OOC - though he may not be the only one... Ah well, I find that I have difficulties to write Albus... Sorry for that. 


End file.
